2. Everyone is pregnant, and I do mean everyone! The woman who checks out my groceries. The clerk at the law library. The pharmacist. The woman in the office next to me. My BFF from college. EVERYONE! I love babies. I love when happy people have babies. I want to be a happy person with a baby. Is it my turn yet? Grrrrrr....
3. My job is the worst job ever. Wait, scratch that. My work environment is the worst ever. Have you ever walked into work and felt your shoulders immediately tense up and your head start to ache? No? Of course not. That would be unhealthy and unnatural. Who would put up with that? Apparently me. Having such a stressful situation on my shoulders (somewhat literally) makes me think....could this have caused some of the problems with my infertility?
As I was thinking about this, it occurred to me that no one should have to feel like this. You shouldn't have to get a pep talk from your spouse just to leave home and go to work. You shouldn't cringe at the thought of talking with your supervisor or manager. Life is worth so much more than that. Once I reconciled that I was worth more than that, I just...walked out. I quietly picked up my keys today, pulled out my purse, and told my office mate that it had been a pleasure. I turned my security badge in to HR and walked out. I felt like a 20 lb weight had been lifted from my chest as I was driving home. My amaz-balls husband hugged me to him and said "I'm looking forward to having my wife back." That made me cry. Maybe its the hormones. Maybe its just my emotions. I don't know. But what I do know is that not going in there the next morning felt better than almost anything I could have imagined. That....was a good day.
I received a job offer that night for the job I'd been hoping to get for the last three years. Call it kismet. Call it a blessing from Gd. Either way, I call it getting exactly what I needed when I needed it.