The Fantastic:
There are a few really good bits that I didn't expect when I started this.
1. Quality Time: You and your partner will spend much more time together. It may be just because you are trying to work out how to bite the bullet and get those shots done, but hey...who says quality time has to fit into a mold? My hubs and I spent a lot of time just relaxing and talking. Every doctor, every nurse, and every supportive member of your family will suggest you relax. How can you expect your body to get into the swing of things if it's all stressed out? It starts to feel really good to carve out some time in your day to decompress and just "be". It can be better than any drug in helping you get knocked up.
2. Family Support: More times than not, once your family and friends learn that a baby is important enough to you that you guys will subject yourselves to all that's coming, they'll gather round and cheer you on in spades. Yes, your mom will bother you with "Are you pregnant yet?" texts and calls every other day, but hey...at least you know she's on your bandwagon, yeah? Seriously though. Most people will be thrilled to pray for you and wish you the best in your conception journey. Let them in. You'll need someone to complain to when we get to the ugly bits.
The Crap:
Yep. Here we are. There's a good side and bad side to everything, right. At least if you know its coming, you'll be more prepared and less apt to let it get you down.
1. Shooting up: During your IVF cycle, your doctor will prescribe all kinds of injectables to help get you preggo. Is it fun? No. Will your partner relish the idea of sticking you in the bum each night? Maybe. While I'd rather be getting a pedicure, its no where near as horrid as I'd expected. The sharps container on my counter isn't cute. Having to be home every night at 7 pm kind of puts a damper on social events. But really...a few sticks in the tummy/fat butt really aren't the worst. The pain level is usually about a 2/10, and it passes before you have time to get the needle disposed. Some of the meds burn a bit or make the injection site feel funny, but its nothing that would stop you from doing it again the next night. I like to lay on the floor or bed, and watch tv while the hubs does all 3-4 of my injections each night. I'm distracted, which makes him less nervous, and all is well. Try laying on a heating pad or a good butt massage for a few minutes after the oil injections. It helps the medicine dissipate and relieves the soreness.
2. The Budget: IVF is damn expensive. It can cost anywhere from $12k to $25k from start to finish. But let's be frank here, Frank. We all expected an astronomical cost. Most of us expected that insurance wouldn't cover much, if anything. Yeah, you make a plan for affording the gut wrenching bills associated with it, but it still hurts every time you have to write a check for one thing or another related to making a baby. I was particularly pissed off after I paid for my first round of meds (about $5k) and then realized most people spend about $40 bucks on some take out Chinese and a bottle of cheap wine and BAM! Time to run to Walgreens for an EPT. Pffffft!
3. Physical Reactions to Life: Whether you want to call them side effects, mood swings, or just being salty about your lot in life, the reactions you may have to things going on around you can suck. Logged on to Facebook lately? Everyone is pregnant. That can make an IVF pin cushion a little upset. Hell, taking off your bra at night and feeling the pain of swollen, hormonal boobs will cause a little undue grumpiness. Some of us end up so bloated by transfer day that we have no choice but to slip into a pastel mu mu and toss fashion to the wolves. The truth is, these are all things that could and do happen the week before a period, and you've made it through that who knows how many times. Buck up, buttercup. There are far more serious things to piss you off. :)
The F*cking Awful Sh*t
Look. I'm not going to lie to you. There are some things that will pop up that you never conceived of when you planned to start this process. Let's just go ahead and rip off the band-aid, huh?
1. Getting Personal: Nothing about how you handled your "lady business" is going to be the same now that you've started IVF. All those cute little lacy thongs and stuff you liked to wear for your partner before? Uh uh. Girl, please. Just let that go. Its time to put on your big girl panties now (literally). You see, at some point during your IVF cycle, you are going to have to start some meds that will change how your hoo ha behaves. Gone are the days of slipping on a tiny little thong under that silk skirt and heading off to work. No, honey bear. That medication box that arrived so neatly at your door full of syringes and oils and such? Yesssssssss, that one. That box contains no less than two prescriptions that will cause your hoo ha to act up. You can maybe get by after that first morning of Progesterone in Oil (PIO) wearing whatever you want, but by day 2....naw. It just wouldn't be "prudent". I have one word for you. Discharge. Oooooh, yes. I'm talking change your panties twice a day, pillowy pad between your legs, stop-by-the-ladies'-to-make-sure-your-period-didn't-start kind of discharge. Hey, we're ripping the band-aid off, right? All that estrogen you get to take in by injection, pill and even patch? That healthy dose of progesterone needed to give your baby a happy 40 week home? That stuff does things man, and you don't want to learn about what it does while you're wearing your favorite Frederick's or La Perla lace thingy, do you? I thought not. Just go ahead on and hit up your local Target. Buy yourself some real panties (you know, those cotton granny get ups?) and hunker down for a few weeks of granny panties and giant pads.
2. Getting Real: You'll also notice, after a few weeks of stims and estrogen, that you haven't done anything worth talking about in the bathroom lately. If you don't want to learn the dignity draining that is suppositories, grab yourself a box of laxatives while you're in Target getting those maw-maw drawers. Two weeks of high does estrogen and some Lupron for good measure and you'll be wishing you had. I know, ewwww. I refer you back to the band-aid.
3. Feast or Famine: Every woman is different, and up until your transfer, your RE will tell you to do what you wanna. But let me give you a heads up. After your person has poked you (with needles) six ways to Sunday, and both your butt and your tummy are sore, your boobs are swollen, you've gained a few pounds and all you want it to get to the finish line already, sex will be the last thing on your mind. "What?!?!?!!", you say? I know. I'm with you. It seems completely counter-productive and against all nature to be turned off by the idea of sex while you are TRYING to get pregnant. But just let me warn you....get it while you can. Before you start stimming, or before those Delestrogen and PIO shots get started, get it. Get it before work. Get it after dinner. Get it before you run to the market. Just. Do. It. I promise, you'll thank me. You and your partner are going to need something to carry you through that hump (no pun intended) before your beta testing.
This has been your IVF PSA. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
For those of you who have info to add, please feel free to shoot me a note or leave me a comment. I'll gladly add info as I receive it! Questions are also welcome! Thanks for playing!