The transfer yesterday went just fine. I got to watch my future babies on the ultrasound screen being slipped right into my uterus and it was nothing short of uh-mazing. I mean, did you get to see that when you got pregnant? I didn't think so. Hmmpf! Anyway...the actual transfer was a breeze, everything I'd heard it was going to be. The preparation? Not to much. All I can say is know your bladder, kids. Know. Your. Bladder.
(Warning: Instances of TMI Coming). Days before the transfer and at the quick consult before we got started, I was told I would need to empty my bladder when I got to the lab, and then commence drinking copious amounts of water before the procedure. I'd be checked, vitals taken. instructed on what to do after, and sign a few forms allowing the hubs to come into the transfer suite as a Peeping Tom. No problem. After all, what's going to ruin baby day!?!?!
I was given a Valium to relax my bladder (Pfffft!) and put in what can only be described as a torture chair. It was like the dentist and the gyno got together and designed a chair, adding thigh straps in a lovely fall colour! I hopped in and said, "Let's get this road on the show!" My RE came in to introduce the embryologist (super cool middle aged chick with a no-nonsense expression..I like her. I liked her a lot!) who verified who I was and matched my responses to the pipette she was holding, containing my little beans. Doc started telling me what they were going to do, and he got started. He asked me to hold my breath as he moved from one step to the other, all the while the hubs was holding my hand and giving my forehead and cheek little tiny kisses. Awwww. I know, right? The sweetness didn't last though. Why? Enter ultrasound tech. We'll call her Amy.... Amy Attitude. Little Miss Amy immediately threw up the front of my gown, sprayed ultrasound goo all over my pelvis, and jammed the scanner into my now painfully full bladder. "Yow!" I couldn't help but cry out. That sh*t hurt! My RE peeked around the light shining on my hoo ha, apologizing and saying he was almost there. I glared and Amy Attitude and expressed that he and I were juuuuust fine. Amy, on the other hand, might wanna watch it. They both tittered back and forth about not seeing the top of my uterus and how my bladder just wasn't there. Amy kept saying patients rarely follow what you tell them to do and shot me a look, asking how much water I'd had. I couldn't help it. I tried. It just came out. I narrowed my eyes in her direction and said, "Enough to submerge a body." The hubs began to squeeze my hand real hard and whispered while darting a look at Amy, "Now, honey bear...we're not going to let Amy ruin baby day, are we?"
As if having 5 people plus the hubs in a small transfer lab, all facing the direction of my hoo ha, a camera pointed into my lady bits, and an embryologist holding a pipette full of my future babies wasn't enough to worry about, it got worse. As I'm listening to my RE explain what is happening and what comes next in unusual detail, I begin to feel what can only be described as a searing pain shooting directly into my tee tee hole. What. The. Hell! Taaaaa daaaaa! You guessed it....a catheter! That bastard! The RE I've come to know and love pulled a fast one on ME! The smarmy fast talker inserted a catheter tube into my tee tee hole so fast I didn't even see it coming! How can this be? I've inserted them myself countless times on hospital patients, but I had no idea! I felt so....violated! Before I could start growling like the Incredible Hulk, I spotted the nurse who'd talked me through most of the IVF steps pouring water into the cath tube. Simone! How could you!?!?! Oh, the betrayal! *sigh*
They filled my bladder with another 120 ml of fluid, realized it still wasn't very visible (I TOLD YOU SO), and decided on another route. My RE decides aloud that he's going in the old fashioned way, as it would certainly suit my hidden bladder and uterus better. He even shares that he did his wife's IVF using this very method (say whaaaaat?)! Luckily, they got the cath out much more smoothly than it went in, and we moved on. Doc began to work with the ultrasound wand and I could see my uterus on the screen. Just as I was imagining my baby(ies) growing nicely in there, Amy Attitude presses the scanner SO HARD into my abdomen that I swear it met the wand inside! I'm telling you...Amy almost lost her life. The most guttural sound every escaped my clenched teeth, and Amy stepped back. Good girl, glad to see you're learning. I didn't have much time to tell her off with my expression, as the doc was taking the embryos from the embryologist. She handed them over carefully, said her good lucks and goodbyes and made her exit. My RE held up the pipette and looked up at the screen. "Man, that is a good lookin' uterus!" Why, thank you, sir! LOL.
We were in the last stages. After only 15 minutes total, we were ready to finish up! He pushed the embryos in their fluid into the transfer device waiting inside my uterus and pointed to the screen. "Here come the twins!" he said, and we watched them slide through the middle and up into the upper area of my uterus. Wow. I was stunned! STUNNED. My beans were home! Well, truthfully, because the screen shows black and white, they looked more like rice grains. Wanna see? No, that's not abstract art. Right there, in the center of the photo, there are two little teeny tiny spots just between two thick horizontal white spaces. Those, my friends, are my twins and I have never been so happy to watch anything in my life. As of 11:40 am, I was officially PUPO!!!! (Pregnant until proven otherwise). Too bad that Valium didn't kick in until I'd been brought back to my room, huh? Yeah, that happened.
My beta test (hCG) is scheduled for June 23rd. Wish us luck! Its going to be a long two-week wait, but I'm going to try my best to power through it without allowing my mind to be a distraction. Luckily, the hubs and I have an anniversary weekend at the beach planned, so that should help me focus on living life well and avoid worry.
Everyone passes through their two weeks differently. Some women count days, symptoms, etc. Others take home pregnancy tests in hopes of finding out earlier, if possible. Me? Its early days, so I know there's no point in testing. Based on the stages of fertilization and implantation, embryos that have been formed and become blasts usually don't implant themselves into the uterine lining until day 5 and don't create an embryonic sac until day 6. Since the beta is actually done on day 10, I'm thinking I'd do better just to wait it out. The truth is, I don't know that I could handle a negative at home. After being poked and prodded for all these months, I don't think for a moment that I can get an answer to this giant question myself. I've run into at least two instances with friends where someone's gotten a BFN (big fat negative) at home, and then had a beta that clearly showed they were BFP (big fat positive). Why go through the torture? On the flip side, if I were to test at home, get a BFP, and then go in for my beta, only to get a BFN, I would have been flying on cloud 9 for a few days, only to crash. Hard. I think its best not to even think of doing that to myself or the hubs. So, I'll continue my shots, keep putting little blue pills where I don't want to, sit on my duff as ordered, and pray that our family grows. Gd...give us patience and two healthy snuggled in beans (or rice, as it were). Amein.